Ghosts and Shadows
by slackerD
Summary: Paige has trouble sleeping. So does Emily.


**Title:** Ghosts and Shadows  
**Author:** slacker_d  
**Pairing/Characters:** Paige/Emily  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** Page has trouble sleeping. So does Emily.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine.  
**Word Count:** 1,676  
**Spoilers:** 3x12

* * *

Paige wakes up screaming. Or at least that's what it feels like. But as she sits up in bed, quiet as can be in the darkness, she doesn't hear anyone else in the house stirring. Her parents have always come to check on her when she wakes up screaming. It happened nightly the first and second week. Now, a month later, she seems to wake up with the scream lodged in her throat instead.

For that she's grateful. Sort of. There's only so much huddling and concern that she can take from her parents. She had really hoped that once she agreed to see someone about the incident, they would back off a little. But they haven't.

The incident is what they call the night that Nate took her, tried to kill her and then forced Emily to kill him in self-defense.

That night at the hospital, her parents had been so relieved that she was okay that there hadn't been any of the yelling or the tossing around of blame like she'd been expecting. Her parents had even been civil to Emily and her friends. When Paige saw her dad actually smile at Mrs. Fields, her first thought was that she was seeing things, because of her concussion, not realizing his relief that she was okay was actually making him polite.

The relief they felt at her safety quickly became outrage when they learned that Nate had taken her as some sort of revenge towards Emily.

It's never been said out loud, but Paige is pretty sure that there's some small part of her parents, especially her dad, that blames Emily for Paige being gay. Despite numerous conversations about how she's felt this way for as long as she can remember, Paige still feels a bit of resentment coming from him whenever she brings up Emily's name.

But now the knowledge that Emily is the reason she was in danger, well, Paige is honestly surprised that he didn't go over to the Field house to yell some more.

Instead, he forbade Paige to see Emily.

Upon hearing this, Paige had simply stood up and walked out of the house, the sound of her dad yelling for her to come back and her mom trying to calm him down quickly became background noise as she called Emily.

Paige had been immensely calm until she tried to explain to Emily what her father was trying to do. The thought of being restricted from Emily, to go back to only seeing her in the halls or at swim practice, was devastating.

Emily had come over immediately. What had shocked Paige though is that Mrs. Fields came with. And while she cuddled with Emily in the backseat of her car, Mrs. Fields went inside and faced her parents.

There'd been less yelling than either girl had expected and neither her dad or Mrs. Fields will tell their children what was said. Paige tries not to worry about it because really all that matters is that she and Emily are allowed to see each other.

She's also relieved that Mrs. Fields doesn't seem to hold her responsible for her dad's outburst in the cafeteria last year.

Of course her dad couldn't give up complete control of the situation and her time with Emily has to be regulated. The first thing to go is Paige spending the night at Emily's; even with Mrs. Fields' open door policy.

This had been the most difficult to accept because at the time, the whole incident had been less than a week old. Paige was still filled with the constant fear that someone would come along and do something even worse to Emily. She has no idea what that would be, considering what A has already put Emily and her friends through, but it seems to overshadow everything.

Countered with Emily's fear that something will happen to Paige because Emily loves her, well, there was a lot of clinginess that first week. And not being able to spend the night wrapped around Emily, to not be able to feel her heartbeat, know that she's alive, made Paige afraid of the dark in way she'd never been as a kid. However, the look of panic that Emily had given her at that announcement had almost been more distressing. She had vowed long ago to protect Emily with everything she is and that includes her heart, especially her heart. She wishes her dad could understand that.

And so Paige and Emily see each other at school, during swim practice and in the evenings where they do homework or swim more. If they didn't have a pool, Paige is pretty sure she'd barely see Emily.

But the nights are the worst. She knew she'd have nightmares, she'd be an idiot to think otherwise. She just never thought she'd wake up feeling so… lonely. She isn't sure if it's from the utter helplessness she feels in her nightmares or the seemingly misplaced feeling of abandonment she feels when she wakes up.

Or maybe it's the struggle Emily's going through because she killed Nate. Emily's reassured Paige a thousand times, it seems, that she knows killing Nate had been out of self defense and unavoidable, but that doesn't mean it doesn't haunt her. Paige can see that every time they're together.

And she wants to do more, wishes she could do more, but now, Emily is haunted by two ghosts and Paige sometimes wonders if she can be the girlfriend Emily needs. That doesn't mean she's not going to try until her last dying breath, but she still worries about it.

Which leads her to her current predicament, should she try to get more sleep? It's just after midnight and she hasn't been sleeping that long. But the chance of falling into another nightmare seems high and she's not sure she can handle another.

Her cell phone rings, starling her and she reaches for it, trying to calm her wildly beating heart.

She smiles when she sees it's Emily. They used to talk to each other every night, usually after waking up from a nightmare, as proof that the other was just fine. As the days have become weeks, it's tapered off a bit, but they rarely go more than a day without their midnight phone calls.

"Hey."

"I didn't wake you, did I?" Emily asks.

"No worries, a nightmare did it for you," Paige replies, already feeling the shadows in her mind dispersing.

"I'm sorry, baby," Emily says, sounding slightly out of breath. "The same one?"

"Yeah, the same one."

Paige's dream is always the same; she's helpless and alone in the dark for what seems like days and when there finally is light and hope, she's forced to watch Nate torture Emily. She usually wakes up when the blade pierces Emily's skin.

"Do you need a hug?"

"I always need a hug from you," Paige replies. "But it'll have to wait until morning."

"Not necessarily."

"Not necessarily? And what are you doing? You sound like you're moving furniture."

"Close, but not quite," Emily says. "Look out your window."

Paige tries not to let herself hope too much as she walks towards her bedroom window. She quietly slides it open, which is difficult to do, still cradling the phone to her ear. Cautiously sticking her head out, Paige can't help but grin upon seeing Emily standing below her window with a ladder.

Emily waves shyly. "I didn't want to scare you, so I thought I'd call first."

"Well, I'm awake, so get up here."

Emily smiles and stuffs her cell phone in her pocket. She then carefully picks up the ladder and lays it gently against the house.

When Emily's close enough, Paige grabs her hand and pulls her inside. Somehow, they manage not to fall, despite Emily's unwillingness to let go of Paige.

"Hey," Paige grins.

"Hey."

The kiss is gentle and reassuring, pulling Paige completely free of the lingering shadows in her mind. Emily's presence has always kept her grounded, but now it feels vital to her existence.

"I missed you," Emily whispers.

"So I gathered," Paige chuckles.

This earns her a punch in the arm.

"I missed you too, Em," Paige smiles.

Emily sheds her jacket and jeans and they crawl into Paige's bed. Emily settles onto Paige, letting her head rest on her chest, wanting to hear her heartbeat. Emily always seems to do better with this physical proof of Paige's safety.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Paige asks.

"I couldn't sleep," Emily replies softly. "And I just felt so alone. So I decided I needed to see you."

"How did you get that huge ladder over here? And where did you get it?"

"Would you believe Spencer helped me?"

"What?" Paige cannot imagine Spencer Hastings finding a ladder and helping Emily bring it to her house.

Paige feels Emily nod. "I called her. I knew she'd have an idea of how I could get to you.; because, inconveniently, there aren't any trees by your bedroom window."

"You know how to climb trees?" Paige asks, smiling.

"Well no," Emily answers. "But I could learn."

"Luckily you didn't have to," Paige says. "I'd worry that you'd fall and hurt yourself."

"Spencer said the same thing," Emily says. "Apparently you've both forgotten that Emily Fields can do whatever she sets her mind to."

Trying not to laugh, Paige says, "Don't worry. I've never forgotten that. We just worry about you, Em."

"Well I worry about you," Emily tells her.

Paige smiles, tightening her grip around Emily. "I'm _really_ glad you're here right now."

"Me too," Emily replies, snuggling into Paige's embrace. "Maybe now I can sleep."

"Best sleep in weeks, I'm sure," Paige says, letting her eyes drift shut. Having Emily here with her erases the darkness, the loneliness and hopelessness that settled over her earlier. She feels herself drifting off. "Sweet dreams, love."

"I love you too," Emily says, her voice full of contentment and comfortable.

Paige falls asleep surrounded in the warmth of Emily's love.


End file.
